Why you may never find your Shiva to your Shakti– and why that’s OK
Sensational Shakti and Shiva
In the Tantric cosmos a divine dance takes place where the ancient and universal feminine (Shakti) and masculine (Shiva) energies embrace and unite.
The Tantric relationship is idealised as a rhythmic flow of these two energies within and between two individuals. In the heterosexual version of this snakey cosmic tale/tail, the woman longs to open her heart fully, surrendering to and being witnessed by a present and mindful Shiva-god man – like no biggie.
The storms and passions of the feminine will be contained and held within his steady, strong arms. Cool – and despite your inner feminist looking a little disgruntled and maybe rolling her eyes just a little – you’re well…you know, kinda drawn and intrigued. It’s all so yin and yang, Romeo and Juliet…oh good god…it’s happened again – you’ve just got totally suckered into that two becomes one bullshit again.
The thing is there aren’t too many of those Shiva guys hanging out. Don’t get me wrong – I’m totally down with the dudes (men kinda rock), but I haven’t seen too many esoteric types shining rainbow light out of the crack of their ass recently.
Or maybe you’ve been reading your Tantra books, taken a few courses and really digging this exchange of energy malarkey and your partner is unwilling or unable to go on that particular cosmic ride with you. So do you languish – or is there another way?
Tantralise Your Sex for One
Of course there is – now pass me the lube and we’ll begin. That’s right, your friendly sex therapist just totally like ‘spiritualised’ banging one out.
Because I know that you’re just the most perfect person for little old you – no dating site could hit the nail so firmly on the head. When it comes to complimenting you – the salt to your pepper is a good old dose of you.
Hmmm…Rills of Pleasure
You can activate and channel all those delicious sexy energies, ravishing yourself with ecstatic pleasures and culminating it all with intense, mind-blowing whole body orgasms. Bring it on with the breath and chakras!
Sacred Space – Let’s Get Juicy!
In preparations for Tantra for One, create a loving, sacred and sensuous space for your self-lurrrving. Consciously set aside some time to treat yourself with a luxurious bath or shower, add essential oils, music, candles, and a platter of fresh cut fruit to the mix.
Awaken and indulge every sense. Just yum! Maybe try some slow yoga postures or calm your body, mind and spirit with some meditation. Surrender to the act of worshipping yourself and your body, becoming aware of all those juicy sexual energies moving through your body.
Don’t force anything; just allow whatever feelings and pleasures to just come. Your capacity for joy and pleasure is limitless. Breath, relax and feel yourself in that present moment.
Eye gazing can establish connection and dissolve barriers between two people, so it can be a really great way of getting intimate with yourself. Once you’re in a relaxed state, set the intention for your eye gazing, maybe it’s to gain more comfort with yourself or to learn more about yourself. Say to yourself out loud or internally what you want to achieve in the time.
Close your eyes and allow your mind to quieten and still. Focus on the sensation of your breath moving in and out of your body. Let go of any expectations, pre-conceptions or busy thoughts. Release and let go. The open your eyes and gaze at the eyes in a mirror set up in front of you. Allow yourself to be comfortable and maybe over time everything may blur out except those eyes, but just allow your gaze to fall gently onto those eyes for as long as you’d like to. Open yourself up to the feelings and emotions that this brings, and release yourself from any judgements about yourself. You are unique, complex and beautiful.
Energise and Feel the Flow
Put on some music and begin to move your body whilst taking deep, gentle breaths. Wriggle your toes, stamp or shake the legs, pivot, sway or rock the hips. Energise and activate every part of your body and become aware of any sensations or energies moving within your body. Maybe there are parts of the body that need a little more warming up – areas that hold tightness and tension. Release and let go – just feel! Connect with those energies and feelings – and let your hands explore all those beautiful areas where energies arise! Yum!